The first suicide I ever saw came when I was in still in mortuary school and was working with a great guy at a funeral home in the Ithaca area. Probably because it was my first and probably because I have a predilection for the macabre, I remember many sundry details surrounding this suicide. For instance, the deceased, in his early to mid-thirties, had made many previous attempts; he left many suicide notes intended for various family members, one of which was left on his father's grave; he had a wife and daughters; he drove a 1992 Subaru; he was buried in a grey cloth casket which is the most basic casket and the one that welfare will provide for families without assets; his family authorized the harvest of his long bones, arteries and other tissue for research and transplant. He was the first bone and tissue donor I had ever seen.
Anyway, in order to suicide, he sat in his 1992 Subaru waiting for a giant truck or tractor trailer to come speeding over a particular hill. When such a giant, speeding truck came into view, he sped into the path of said oncoming truck. After 13 tries, he finally succeeded.
Throughout my time in school and my time as a licensed funeral director, I've seen dozens of suicides and dozens of circumstances. One was a kid who suicided on a birthday hunting trip with his dad, another was a football player who jumped from a speeding car driven by his girlfriend, many were overdoses, many were hangings.
I have always felt that the most disturbing suicides are those that involve another person in some way. The one I described, for instance, or the teenage girl who jumped in front of a train, are two of the many examples I could provide of people who inflict their suicide on someone else. I think about that truck driver who hit that 1992 Subaru or the train conductor or the girlfriend of that football player. Those people will, certainly, be haunted by that experience forever. I absolutely can not imagine such an experience.
So, dear reader, I bet you wonder why I have gone to the annals of the girl embalmer and brought forth such peculiar musings. Well, when reading MyDeathSpace, I came upon the story of Brent MacMillan, 24, who shot himself to death while his ex-girlfriend watched via webcam. ::shakes head:: This shit happens all the time, as noted; I am sure someone might say, "Suicide is an impulsive and selfish action and people who suicide aren't thinking or being conscientious of others." I would agree, mostly; although, in cases of the 1992 Subaru and others, the truck driver played an inadvertent yet integral role in the suicide and he's now forced to carry that burden for the rest of his life. The man who suicided planned to include another person. It is an absolute tragedy, an atrocious exploitation.
By the way, I know the amount of time I spend and degree of my interest in the abominable and ghastly is odd, so you don't need to tell me; but.... ::shrug:: I must be broken.
Anyway, in order to suicide, he sat in his 1992 Subaru waiting for a giant truck or tractor trailer to come speeding over a particular hill. When such a giant, speeding truck came into view, he sped into the path of said oncoming truck. After 13 tries, he finally succeeded.
Throughout my time in school and my time as a licensed funeral director, I've seen dozens of suicides and dozens of circumstances. One was a kid who suicided on a birthday hunting trip with his dad, another was a football player who jumped from a speeding car driven by his girlfriend, many were overdoses, many were hangings.
I have always felt that the most disturbing suicides are those that involve another person in some way. The one I described, for instance, or the teenage girl who jumped in front of a train, are two of the many examples I could provide of people who inflict their suicide on someone else. I think about that truck driver who hit that 1992 Subaru or the train conductor or the girlfriend of that football player. Those people will, certainly, be haunted by that experience forever. I absolutely can not imagine such an experience.
So, dear reader, I bet you wonder why I have gone to the annals of the girl embalmer and brought forth such peculiar musings. Well, when reading MyDeathSpace, I came upon the story of Brent MacMillan, 24, who shot himself to death while his ex-girlfriend watched via webcam. ::shakes head:: This shit happens all the time, as noted; I am sure someone might say, "Suicide is an impulsive and selfish action and people who suicide aren't thinking or being conscientious of others." I would agree, mostly; although, in cases of the 1992 Subaru and others, the truck driver played an inadvertent yet integral role in the suicide and he's now forced to carry that burden for the rest of his life. The man who suicided planned to include another person. It is an absolute tragedy, an atrocious exploitation.
By the way, I know the amount of time I spend and degree of my interest in the abominable and ghastly is odd, so you don't need to tell me; but.... ::shrug:: I must be broken.
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