I Need To Keep This In Mind

and so do you.

Take it from Me

Several hours after eating a large portion of raw beet salad (or any other sort of beet), it is important to remember that you consumed this large portion of beets before becoming alarmed by anything that observe during your subsequent bathroom times.

Unsolicited Advice That, If Taken, May Culminate in a Great Laugh

Please. Don't ask questions. Just do what I say: Go listen to 361: Fear of Sleep on This American Life. Act One is especially notable. Jesse thinks the storyteller, hilarious Michael Birbiglia, might, in fact, be me; that aside, his story is hilarious. I've had a particularly complicated/exhausting/disappointing few days and I can't make my body stop feeling like absolute shit; I keep listening to Birbiglia's story because it makes me laugh and at least something does.

Additionally, the pity party, although (hopefully) winding down, continues still. I would be remiss not to advise you to take that under consideration before getting involved with me right now.

Rainn Wilson, From 'Office' Drone To 'Rocker' Star

On Wednesday, July 30's Fresh Air, Terry Gross interviewed The Office's Rainn Wilson who's new movie, The Rocker, opens August 20.

From NPR:

While his Office character may take himself seriously, actor Rainn Wilson seems to be all about the laughs. Wilson plays beet-farming, archery-loving middle-management kook Dwight Shrute on the NBC hit television series. Now, Wilson is trading his crossbow for a guitar in the new film The Rocker.

The interview is amazing; I loved it so much. I listened to it about 4 times. I laughed so hard when Gross played a clip of her interview with The Office's Jenna Fischer. In the clip, Fischer talks about how hysterical it is when Wilson pushes out his pelvis and his gut when he gets into the "Dwight" character.

Do not delay any further. Listen to the interview ASAP!


image via NPR

HassleMe? Not If I Can Help It.

Ladies, I am about to share some titillating info that may quite possibly change how you relate to your recalcitrant husby or boyfriend or girlfriend or doorman or e-savvy puggle. Get ready to stop the nagging, hassling, reminding. You don't have to do it anymore. HassleMe will do it for you. All you have to do is specify the hassle and the appropriate frequency of the hassle. Include the hasslee's email address and you're done. The hassle recipient will receive semi-unpredictable nags. This means no more prodding, poking, nudging; no more "when are you going to...," "don't forget to...," "you should probably...."

I know this site was primarily intended to remind the user to go to the gym, pick up the dry cleaning, practice the piano or sober up. That's great for some people. I'm using it to do my dirty work and bug my husby. Thanks, HassleMe!

What a Great [Dark] Knight

Tonight, Jesse and I saw The Dark Knight with our friends Brenda and Kyle. I don't need to tell you about it; you can read about it here, here and here. I will tell you that it was great; intense, stunning, dark, lonely. I'll also tell you that you should absolutely see it. Its creepy like I've never seen before and Heath Ledger was terrifying and mesmerizing.

Thanks, Heath; I loved it. RIP.

image via Intellectual Intercourse

The Art of Dying

The Stranger recently did an article on the death care industry and Seattle artist Greg Lundgren, owner of Lundgren Monuments. Lundgren makes incredibly beautiful and unique translucent glass headstones. I really appreciate non-traditional funerals and funeral accouterments and Lundgren is absolutely providing a service to those who prefer something less funereal than sand blasted Barre gray monuments fabricated from Vermont granite. Boring.

Lundgren's monument business is also part art gallery which showcases the glass headstones and a wide array of atypical urns, caskets, action figures, portraits and other memorial art. From the article:

One [piece], by Arne Pihl, is a polished piece of dark wood. Others, by Timothy Foss, look like Japanese ceramics glazed with modern, minimalist patterns. Stefan Gulassa made a small, white cupboard for mementos of the deceased—a watch, a fishing weight, some fly-tying scissors—like Joseph Cornell's evocative boxed assemblages, but with a discreet metal case in the back that holds the ashes.

Lundgren's urns, made of small slabs of glass, look like tiny modernist houses. "An urn is a house, a little house," Lundgren had said a few days earlier, while giving me a tour of his studio. "This is style. This is fashion. When 50 Cent and P. Diddy die, I'm going to make them big bling diamonds out of glass."

The funeral-industry people are particularly taken with one object on Lundgren's shelves: a ceramic pipe wrench made of human bone china. "Human bone china?" they keep repeating to each other. "Human bone china!"

Its maker, Charles Krafft, stands inconspicuously—as inconspicuously as he can, being the tallest, baldest, most bearded man in the room—by the front door, drinking wine. Krafft makes hollow ceramics from pulverized cremated remains, then fills the object with the leftover ashes. He has made a ceramic military helmet for a veteran, a ceramic dog for a veterinarian, and a ceramic bottle of vodka for a friend of his ("an alcoholic gay man"). He also makes ceramic rifles, grenades, and "disasterware," including kitschy Dutch windmills with swastikas for blades. Krafft is one of the only artists in Lundgren's gallery—one of the only artists in America—who has been working in the funerary arts for years.

The gallery contains no ridiculous, gimmicky funeral shit: LifeGem, for instance, manufactures diamonds made from the liver, yes, you read it right, the partially cremated liver of your loved one. In order to make this diamond, the crematory operator is responsible for scooping some molten tissue from the flaming corpse of your cherished family member or friend. Then, the tissue is simply dropped in the mail to LifeGem and they take it from there. Who doesn't want to wear momma's liver around their neck? This gross, imprecise scooping, by the way, is illegal in New York State.

The article is really thorough and profound; it covers many aspects of the funeral industry and discusses the Goliath conglomerates (Service Corporate International, specifically, which also contains Batesville Caskets, Dignity Memorial, the National Cremation Society, Advantage Funeral and Cremation Services, Making Everlasting Memorials, Memorial Plan Cemeteries and Funeral Homes and Funeria del Angel) that are crippling and absorbing the small, privately-owned businesses in Seattle and the entire country. I really encourage you to read the article; I think its imperative to have as much knowledge about this topic as possible. It is impossible to know when you may be faced with making funeral arrangements and going into the process armed with at least some basic information will benefit you immensely in the end.

The Eco-Friendly Fruit Fly Trap

Ack. Fruit flies are the worst. Get rid of them the green way.


via treehugger

They Should Call It Crystal AMAZING

I would be surprised if you told me that you haven't heard how awful aluminum-filled antiperspirants are for your body. Not only do antiperspirants block sweat from escaping through underarm pores onto the surface of the skin, the harmful chemicals sit on the surface of the skin for hours leading to inevitable absorption. I don't need to go into it because the studies and information can be found everywhere. Read more here.

I DO need to go into the fact that after I abandoned my toxic antiperspirant, I smelled disgusting. My friends (and anyone downwind of me) will tell you that its true. I was using a natural tea tree oil deodorant and it did not work. But you know what does work? Crystal Body Deodorant.
It is is made of 100% natural mineral salts, which are hypoallergenic, fragrance-free and paraben free. It is not tested on animals and is safe for the environment. Oh, and its AMAZING. I smell almost totally neutral and I love it.

How does it work, you ask?

The Crystal deodorants are composed of mineral salts which form a topical layer on the skin, creating an environment impossible for bacteria to thrive. They eliminate the odor-causing bacteria and therefore prevent body odor.

How is that different from mainstream deodorants? Most deodorants mask body odor with a perfumed scent, contain alcohol to shrink pores, or aluminum chlorohydrate/aluminum zirconium. These compounds enter the pores and physically block or clog them to reduce the flow of perspiration. In essence, they inhibit the body's natural expulsion of toxins.

Oh, and its AMAZING. Go out right now for your own crystal. You can find it at many natural food stores and online.