Lately, I'm working really hard on self-soothing. So, for instance, when I start to get all wound up about all the little things going on, and I do mean
all, (awful job, not enough money, so sleepy, miss my friends, broken tv, need rear calipers, staying awake, getting along with people, need exhaust work, Prop. 8, the future, yiiiiiikes), I try to soothe myself.
Sometimes, it goes really well and works fabulously. But since I'm trying to teach myself this skill after 28 solid years of being anxious (worry runs in the Mastroberti blood), I often have already gone off the figurative edge
wa-a-ay before I even realize what I'm doing. And if I'm not conscious that I'm reverting to my old habit, its pretty hard to implement efforts to bring the process to a screeching halt. As I said, I'm
working on it.
Tomorrow, I go to
BCC to register for classes and I'm nervous. I was getting all wound up about it and about chemistry, of all things.
J said, "do you even know if you have to take chemistry?"
"
No... But I
know I won't be able to do it (I'm also trying to stop "awful-izing." Apparently, I'm having a particularly unsuccessful night)."
In a few short hours, I'll know if I have to take chemistry and then the worrying will have been for naught or it will increase....
I'll let you know what happens.
On a side note,
please take note of
ashleyg's awesome artwork, "
Its All Right," that is so perfect for me tonight as I try to reassure myself that tomorrow will go fine, going back to school will be good for me, a new adventure will be good for me, I'm smart enough for chemistry.... Well, I can't talk myself into
everything. This print is available in
ashleyg's etsy shop. Please check out her "
Wonder Boy and Co" and "
Even Superheroes Need a Break" and please support independent artists as often as you can. I try to and I certainly should be doing it more often.
