Today in Traditional Marriage

The Smoking Gun:

A Florida man wearing an "I [heart] My Marriage" t-shirt was arrested last night for allegedly choking his wife during an argument in their Tampa-area home. Bradley Gellert, a 32-year-old financial consultant, was busted by Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office deputies and booked into jail on a felony domestic battery by strangulation charge.... The "I [heart] My Marriage" shirt was a promotional item tied to the 2008 movie "Fireproof," a Christian-themed film starring Kirk Cameron. The movie, a hit in evangelical circles, centers on a fireman's religious awakening and his simultaneous effort to save a failing marriage.

Says Dan Savage, "Bradley hearts his marriage - it's his wife he can't stand."

via Slog
image via The Smoking Gun

Overheard in the J and L House

Lisa to Jesse: I haven't tried to kick you at all tonight!

Perhaps Another School Would be a Better Choice

From Sky News:

Xin Yang's head was cut off with a kitchen knife, just weeks after arriving in the United States from China to study accounting.

Her alleged attacker, Haiyang Zhu, also from China, was arrested at the scene by an officer who arrived less than a minute after receiving an emergency call.

On January 7, he wrote on a Chinese-language blog he had been so frustrated over stock losses and other problems that he thought "only of killing someone or committing suicide".

Miss Xin, 22, was believed to have been having coffee with Haiyang in the campus Au Bon Pain cafe.

Seven witnesses from the cafe have said there was no argument or shouting prior to the killing on Wednesday at 7pm.

The officer on the scene reported finding 25-year-old Haiyang holding her head in his hand, according to a police affidavit.

RIP, Xin.

One-Eyed Man Removes, Consumes Remaining Eye

One eye minus one eye equals no eyes. Its simple math, really.

MSNBC:

HOUSTON - A Texas death row inmate with a history of mental problems pulled out his only good eye and told authorities he ate it.

Andre Thomas, 25, was arrested for the fatal stabbings of his estranged wife, their young son and her 13-month-old daughter in March 2004. Their hearts also had been ripped out. He was convicted and condemned for the infant's death.

While in the Grayson County Jail in Sherman, Thomas plucked out his right eye before his trial later in 2004. A judge subsequently ruled he was competent to stand trial.

On Dec. 9, a death-row officer at the Polunsky Unit of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice found Thomas in his cell with blood on his face and took him to the infirmary.

""Thomas said he pulled out his eye and subsequently ingested it," agency spokesman Jason Clark said Friday.....

The Texas Court of Criminal Appeals in October upheld his conviction and death sentence for the death of 13-month-old Leyha Marie Hughes. Also killed March 27, 2004, were his wife, Laura Christine Boren, 20, and their son, 4-year-old Andre Lee.

Thomas, from Texoma, walked into the Sherman Police Department and told a dispatcher he had just murdered the three and had stabbed himself in the chest.

Thomas told police how he put his victims' hearts in his pocket and left their apartment, took them home, put them in a plastic bag and threw them in the trash.

Court documents described the three victims as having "large, gaping wounds to their chests."

Today in Heterosexual News: At Least He's Not Marrying a Man

From ABC:

Drew Peterson, the former Chicago police sergeant who is a suspect in the disappearance of his fourth wife, Stacy, and the homicide of his third wife, Kathleen Savio, is engaged again.

Drew Peterson, 54, recently proposed to his 23-year-old girlfriend of four months, his publicist confirmed to ABCNews.com, but he will not reveal her identity in an attempt to shield her from the media.

Congratulations to the happy couple!

via SLOG

You, Michelle Allen, Are All Class

From WBNS 10 TV:
Cincinnati, OH--

A Middletown woman was arrested after chasing children, urinating on a porch, and blocking traffic - all while wearing a cow suit.

Police said 32-year-old Michelle Allen was chasing children while wearing the cow costume early Monday evening.

(more)

image via WBNS 10 TV
via Slog

Drunk, Homeless Guys in Wheelchairs Have Hot Dates, Too

From The Huffington Post:

DALLAS — A robber rolled into a Dallas convenience store came armed with a bat and a knife. He left with a lot of condoms and an energy drink.

Dallas police Cpl. Kevin Janse said Friday that a man in a wheelchair entered a Dallas 7-Eleven Wednesday afternoon, rolled straight toward the cash register and beat it with a baseball bat until it opened.

But he didn't grab any cash. Instead, police say he stole 10 boxes of condoms and an energy drink before making his getaway Wednesday afternoon.

Janse says the suspect may have been homeless and was likely intoxicated at the time of the robbery.

Half-ton Woman Indicted in Slaying of Nephew, 2

From CNN (emphasis is mine):

A grand jury indicted Mayra Lizbeth Rosales, 27, on Thursday on one count of first-degree murder and on one count of injury to a child in the death of Eliseo Gonzalez Jr. She previously had been charged with capital murder.

Rosales weighs nearly 1,000 pounds and cannot fit through a door to leave her home, leaving prosecutors wondering how to bring her to court. As of Thursday evening, she was not in custody.

Hidalgo County Sheriff Lupe Trevino said that holding her at the county jail for her trial would be impossible because she needs extensive medical care.

::shakes head:: I don't even know.

via Slog

image via KGBT

Guns Don't Kill People: The Update

The 14-year-old boy who shot and killed a 54-year-old hiker he mistook for a bear has been charged with manslaughter.


via Slog

You, Holly Highfield, Are All Class

From News4Jax:

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. --

Police recently arrested a woman they said deliberately hit a bike rider and crashed two separate cars, and then ran off naked.Holly Highfield faces DUI and several other charges after witnesses said she intentionally struck a bicyclist, took off her clothes and ran around the crash scene, then drove off the road while attempting to leave the scene in someone else's vehicle.Police said the incident occurred Sunday evening while Highfield, 34, was driving three children, ages 10 to 14.

Just after 8 p.m., officers were called to a report of an accident involving a pedestrian and a naked woman at the intersection of San Pablo Road and Pirate Court.The children in Highfield's car told police that she was driving north when she turned to them and said: "Do you think this biker is going to get hit? Do you have faith? Are you afraid?" They said she then steered her SUV across San Pablo and struck 55-year-old Cathy Giury riding a bicycle.

When a couple in a van stopped to see if the bicyclist needed help, Highfield allegedly got out of her vehicle, jumped into the van yelling that she was going to jail, ordering the man behind the wheel to drive her away. Police were told than when the driver refused, she got out, took off her clothes and began running around.

According to the police report, when the bystander got out to help the bicyclist, Highfield yelled at the passenger in the van to get out, then attempted to drive off, but left the road and struck a fence.When police arrived, Highfield was placed in the back of the patrol car. Officers said she became increasingly violent. When a female officer attempted to cover Highfield with a sheet, she was kicked.The arrest report indicates Highfield "appeared to be under the influence of some type of drug." It said she also urinated in the back of the patrol car.

Ack. The crazies, they are everywhere.


via Slog

Father-in-Law of U.S. Volleyball Coach Killed

From Reuters:

BEIJING-A Chinese man stabbed to death the father-in-law of a U.S. Olympic coach at a Beijing tourist spot on Saturday before taking his own life, casting a pall over the first day of sports action at the Games.

Todd Bachman was killed and his wife, Barbara, suffered life-threatening injuries in the knife attack, the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) said.

Their daughter, Elisabeth Bachman McCutcheon, who played volleyball for the U.S. women's team at the 2004 Athens Games is married to New Zealander Hugh McCutcheon, coach of the men's team. She was with her parents at the time of the attack but was not hurt, the USOC said.

A Chinese tour guide was also wounded in the attack by a man whom police said had no fixed residence nor job, but traveled to Beijing from the affluent eastern city of Hangzhou on August 1.

Tang Yongming, 47, from the eastern city of Hangzhou, attacked the trio shortly after midday at the centuries-old, 45-metre-high (148-ft-high) Drum Tower in central Beijing. He died after leaping from the Tower, police said.

Assaults on foreigners are rare in Beijing, host of the 2008 Olympic Games. Police said the Chinese tour guide was out of danger....

Read an update on Barbara Bachman and find more information about the attack on The New York Times; read about Beijing's post-attack security increase on Reuters.

Son, You're a Loser. Why Can't You Just Be Cool Like Your Old Man?

From Orlando's Local6:

SPRING HILL, Fla. -- A Gulf Coast man was charged with murder after he said he gave his 15-year-old son powerful prescription drugs because he wanted the boy to know "how to party right." Steven Alfano was charged with third-degree murder after son Vincent died of an accidental overdose in June. Witnesses said the 47-year-old Spring Hill man showed his son how to crush and snort pills like the painkiller oxycodone and the heroin substitute methadone.

Alfano was arrested Friday and is being held without bail. Officials did not know if he had a lawyer. The father initially told police he kept the medications locked away so no one else could get them. Alfano later told two of Vincent's friends that he knowingly gave the drugs to his son to teach him to party. The conversation was recorded by police.

Way to go, dad. Way to go. RIP, Vincent.

via MyDeathSpace

You and Your Big Ideas

Greyhound Scraps Ads after Canada Bus Beheading

Headline of the Day

Sydney Morning Herald:

‘Bus beheader’ had mouth, nose and ear in pocket.

Umm.... ::furrows brow:: I don't, uhh.... What the fuck??

A police officer at the scene reported seeing the attacker hacking off pieces of the victim's body and eating them, according to a police tape leaked on the internet....

And you thought my fermented Chinese tea complete with slimy yeast cultures was weird.

via Slog

Guns Don't Kill People

Guns fired by teenagers aiming at hikers mistaken for bears kill people.

OSO, Snohomish County — Troy Almli gave his mother a warning just before she headed off to Sauk Mountain on Saturday for a much-anticipated hike with a longtime friend.

"Be careful," he said. It was opening weekend of bear season, and "There'll be a lot of [people] with guns out there."

Pamela Almli, 54, brushed away his concerns.

An avid and accomplished hiker, she felt as safe and at home on the trails as just about anywhere.

But her son's fears were justified.

About 10:30 a.m., while Almli was bent over on a marked hiking trail, she was fatally shot by a 14-year-old boy who mistook her for a bear.

"How could anybody think a 5-foot-2 Swede was a bear?" Troy Almli said. "We just can't see it."

He said the family is not anti-gun or anti-hunting, but the shooting was befuddling. So his aunt and grandfather on Monday retraced his mother's last steps to see if they could make sense of the tragedy.

Police said the 14-year-old and his 16-year-old brother, both from Concrete, were dropped off in the Sauk Mountain area near Rockport, Skagit County, on Saturday morning by their grandfather, but he was not with them when the shooting occurred....

Wow. I guess grandpa thought leaving the firearm-wielding boys alone seemed like a good idea at the time. Yikes!

via Slog

Aldo A. Rossi, Jr. Dead at 42

A local police officer was killed in the line of duty on July 27. Aldo A. Rossi, Jr., 42, part-time police officer owner of a local auto glass business put himself through police academy when he was 39.

This is of interest to you, my most likely out-of-town friend, because it reminded me of some of the things about funeral service that were important and remarkable to me. I'll start by commenting on how non-traditional my preferences tend to be. Consider my wedding, complete with green Chucks on the boys, hundreds of assorted green fowers, and "In My Life" by the Beatles as the recessional. Very non-traditional.

That said, I am quite stirred by the tradition and formality that is an integral part of a funeral service for those who served the local community in a public capacity: active-duty military personnel, police officials, government officials. The bagpipes, the six or eight pallbearers wearing white gloves and bearing the weight of the deceased, the somber funeral coach, the police-escorted procession, the 21-gun salute, the bugler playing "Taps," the presentation of the flag to the surviving widow are the elements that remind me to focus less on myself, my isolation and my issues (myriad as they may be) and more on the surrounding world.


images via PressConnects

Ride Your Bike to Work...

Get shot in the face.

From Columbia Dispatch:

TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) — Toledo police say a man was shot and killed while bicycling to work for the first time to save on gas.

Police Capt. Ray Carroll says 46-year-old David Babcock was seen on a street having a heated argument with another man before he was shot around 5:30 Tuesday morning. He was pronounced dead at a hospital.

The coroner says Babcock took a bullet to the face that caused massive bleeding and hampered his breathing.

No arrests have been made. Authorities don't know the motive for the shooting.

Babcock survived surgery to remove a brain tumor 13 years ago. His fiance, Rene Long, says Babcock had put lights on his bike and wore a reflective vest so he would be safe on his inaugural, 8-mile ride to his job at Fresh Products Inc., a maker of air fresheners.

via Slog

Random Police Violence at July 25 NYC Critical Mass

New York's finest. Word is that:

the cyclist in this video was arrested, held for 26 hours, and charged with attempted assault and resisting arrest. One other cyclist was ticketed Friday night for riding outside the bike lane, which is not actually illegal and often necessary, considering how popular bike lanes are for double parking.

via Slog

July 25 Critical Mass Melee: What He Said

In the interest of providing access to both sides of the story, the full account of the incident from the driver's point of view is available here. And now an excerpt:

While a some cyclists I’ve spoken with have written Mark off as another indignant road-hog, Mark says he actually used to be a bike commuter when he lived in Seattle a few years ago. “I sympathize with [cyclists’] cause. I ride bikes too. I’m a liberal hippie democrat,” he says, adding “I’m gay, the person with me was a lesbian and we were a attacked by eco-terrorists. It’s the most Seattle thing that could have happened.

Do you have any thoughts or experience with Critical Mass? What opinions do you have?

My consideration on this issue continues.

July 25 Critical Mass Melee

Critical Mass is a simple gathering of bike lovers who organize a regular monthly ride through city streets to assert their right to the roads. Critical Mass is not a formal organization or group although groups within individual cities decide to be as formal or as informal about their particular city's endeavor; instead, it is more of a concept meant to bring bike lovers together to celebrate their common interest in both their past time and their desire for safety and road space.

I'm certainly not exhaustively familiar with Critical Mass; you know any Critical Mass rides in my future will be many hours of bike riding down the road, literally and figuratively. I do know that I am upset about the melee during Seattle's most recent ride.

From KING 5:

A demonstration turned violent Friday night after a group of cyclists taking part in the Critical Mass demonstration got into an argument with a driver on Seattle’s Capitol Hill.

Critical Mass is a group of cyclists that takes to the streets the last Friday of every month to promote cyclists’ right to the road.

It’s wasn’t clear what sparked the confrontation at 15th and Aloha, but witnesses say they saw about a dozen cyclists surround a white Subaru, blocking in the driver.

Apparently, the driver felt intimidated and tried to back up to get away, but he backed into at least two cyclists.

He then tried to take off, but cyclists chased after him, bashed in his car window and assaulted the driver. The driver was taken to an area hospital.

From an actual eyewitness (a bystander):

I was just looking up news information about an event that I witnessed tonight and found a frighteningly misinformed article on the event on the King 5 news website. Their “Bicycle demonstration turns violent” article paints a picture of cyclist brutality committed on a vehicle, injuring the driver and scaring the passenger, who they describe as a pregnant woman. While there is no denying that the cyclists circled the car and trashed it, this was all an attempt to stop the car and driver from possibly hurting anyone else, as the scene they describe in their newscast takes place about 200 ft from the scene where the motorist accelerated from 0 to 40 THROUGH a standing line of cyclists at Aloha and 14th, luckily only injuring two of them as his car was pointed at a group of six.

I was standing about 20 feet from the scene and saw the entire altercation. I honestly cannot believe what I saw. Originally, the vehicle was trying to inch (westward on Aloha) into an oncoming mass of cyclists on a narrow road, where he had to pull into the oncoming traffic lane in order to get around the cars parked in his lane. About 6 cyclists peeled off to park themselves in front of the vehicle, explaining that he needed to wait and they would all be out of his way in a minute. The driver, however, remained agitated and expressed that they were “in a rush” and “would be late”. When the cyclists asked what they were going to be late for, the driver responded, “We have reservations!”, which left the group largely speechless until one of the cyclists again explained that he would save a lot of time and trouble if he just waited another 30 seconds for the rest of the cyclists to pass. At that moment, the driver suddenly put his car in reverse and backed up—5 feet into the sidewalk (now the car is parallel to Aloha—thank goodness there were no pedestrians behind him!)—and stopped. This strange behavior panicked everyone and no one moved except to shout “Stop.” This is when his passenger started yelling for him to “Calm down and stop” as well. After staying put for about 10 seconds, the driver then said “fuck this” and accelerated into the line of standing cyclists. When he hit the first ones, he continued to accelerate, but steered into the larger mass of cyclists before turning the wheel and tearing off in the opposite direction (east on Aloha) with one of the hit cyclists still on the roof of his car.

The driver sped down Aloha with a mess of bicycles and cyclists in his wake, a cyclist on his roof, and everyone, including his pregnant passenger, yelling for him to “Just stop!” At the bottom of the hill, the driver stopped at a stop sign and the cyclists swarmed the car, slashing his tires and breaking the windows in order to make sure that he did not continue operating his vehicle through the city like a madman. His door was opened, the driver got out of the car in tears and walked, unmolested back up to where the cyclists were splayed out in the street apologizing to everyone. His passenger was relatively calm, also walked up the street unmolested, and explained that her friend had made a mistake and that she had been yelling for him to calm down and stop the car. While there was a little hysterical yelling by the freightened (sic) bicyclists, there was absolutely no physical confrontation.

The reason that I am writing you is that it seems alarmingly irresponsible that such a biased story would be printed and broadcast when King 5 admits that “It’s wasn’t clear what sparked the confrontation”. Not that this is surprising by any means, which is unfortunate. I guess I just want to make sure that the real story is put out there before this damning misinterpretation gains any steam.

I am very distressed about this, both as a new bike rider (if you can call my current ability "riding") and as someone who absolutely acquiesces with this celebration and expression. I certainly plan to incorporate Critical Mass rides into my bike-riding (and hopefully bike-loving) future.


image from actual incident via Slog
via Slog