A Song about an Anglerfish

You guys! This video is via Rachel in Canada. I actually didn't watch the video right away because the anglerfish in the beginning of the video is so frightening-looking. I am really glad I got over my concerns because this video and song is way more funny and educational than I could have imagined. Plus, any guy who writes a song about anglerfish is ok with me.

Let This be a Lesson to You*

Fox News:

Jose Cruz was pulled over Monday night on Route 60 in South Charleston for driving with his headlights off. He was subsequently arrested after failing a series of sobriety tests, according to WSAZ TV in Charleston.

During fingerprinting, Cruz then allegedly moved closer to one of the officers and passed gas, the station reported. In the complaint, the investigating officer wrote that police noticed a "very strong" odor.

The alleged stunt led Cruz to be charged with another offense — battery on an officer — in addition to DUI and obstruction, WSAZ reported.

*You know who you are.

via Mental_Floss

Drunk, Homeless Guys in Wheelchairs Have Hot Dates, Too

From The Huffington Post:

DALLAS — A robber rolled into a Dallas convenience store came armed with a bat and a knife. He left with a lot of condoms and an energy drink.

Dallas police Cpl. Kevin Janse said Friday that a man in a wheelchair entered a Dallas 7-Eleven Wednesday afternoon, rolled straight toward the cash register and beat it with a baseball bat until it opened.

But he didn't grab any cash. Instead, police say he stole 10 boxes of condoms and an energy drink before making his getaway Wednesday afternoon.

Janse says the suspect may have been homeless and was likely intoxicated at the time of the robbery.

“Z-Warrior Barbie in Battle with an Iguana”

From Reuters:

A piece by LaVonne Sallee titled "Z-Warrior Barbie in Battle with an Iguana" sits on a display at the "Altered Barbie" exhibition in San Francisco, August 11, 2008. Welcome to San Francisco's annual "Altered Barbie" exhibition, where the iconic doll of American pop culture is cut up, glued down, juxtaposed with all sorts of objects and transformed in a new mode of self-expression.

From SFGate:

For the sixth annual show, the theme is recycled and reusable materials, which many of the 60 artists have used to represent distorted body image, as well as to create everything from fashionable Barbie outfits to anatomically correct versions of the doll. The exhibition also includes quilts, print making, poetry, film, workshops on altering Barbie and "self-marriages," ceremonies intended to help people appreciate their capacity to control their own lives.

Check out more images of the peculiar and satirical art at Reuters and at SFGate.

Scorned Wife: Buy Evidence of My Husband's Adultery on eBay

From Reuters:

CANBERRA - An Australian woman has taken revenge on her cheating husband by putting a photograph of his lover's underpants up for sale on the auction site eBay.

In the listing the woman says she is selling a picture of a pair of lacy black knickers and an empty condom wrapper "size small" found in her bed after her husband had an affair with another woman.

The seller -- identified on eBay only as annastella007 -- provides a rather unflattering description of the knickers.

"They are so huge I thought they may make someone a nice shawl or, even better, something for Halloween perhaps."

The eBay listing, entitled "Empty condom packet & a photo of 'The Tart's' knickers," also includes a detailed account of the events leading up to the discovery.

The woman says she returned from work after receiving a romantic text message from her husband of 22 years that was clearly misdirected to find him at home watching a DVD and discouraging her from entering their bedroom.

In the room she found the empty condom wrapper under his pillow and "the Tart's knickers ... at the foot of the bed."

The woman said this was not her last sale on eBay.

She says her husband's Harley motorcycle is "the next item that will probably be sold on eBay at a start price of 99c and, of course, with no reserve!" (more)

I told you: karma is a boomerang.


image via Reuters

Barefoot in the Grass

For reasons that are unclear, London Krispy Kreme's are selling flip-flops with real grass growing on the foot bed. If you take good care of it and perhaps pee on it, it should live for up to four months.


via Slog

You Sunk My Battleship

Check out this hilarious novelty ice cube mold from Worldwide Fred. They could be a great ice breaker for your next party (waa waa waaaaaaaaaa).

Other silly things from Worldwide Fred:

• Airfork One airplane fork
• Fossiliced dinosaur skeleton ice cube mold
• Stuck Up ABC gum-shaped magnets
  

So funny!

Mikus+Jesse+Lisa=A Great 8 Days Part 2

Thursday, July 3. I started the day with a job interview then returned to the apartment to collect J & M. Jesse took the day off and we were driving a little out of town to Chenango Valley State Park. Although its so close to us, we have never gone to check it out and I am glad we finally got around it. The park was really pretty and seemed fairly expansive. We got a trail map from the park office and chose the one that is about two miles long and takes you around the lake. There were a number of trails listed and they were all rated for difficulty. According to our map, the trail we chose was rated as difficult although the three of us breezed through it. The only difficulty about it was that it was somewhat rough with roots, rocks, logs and some wet spots. Basically, though, it was an easy 2 miles. There was some rain at the end so we didn't wrap up the afternoon with a swim.

After we left the park, we made a couple sundry stops before heading home. Dinner plans involved the charcoal grill and, since I had abandoned my "no lighter fluid. It tastes hideous!" standpoint, we went from cold charcoal to dinner in a snap. The omnis ate steak and Mikus ate another meal of tofu brats. We had a giant spinach salad on the side. I suggested an after dinner walk to kill some time before we went to Philip and Emily's for a visit. We had a brisk walk to the park across the street. At some point, the rain came and before we knew it, we were all soaked. I love a walk in the rain so I was perfectly content to splash about. We made it back to our place for a change and then relocated to Philip and Emily's for some Apples to Apples, my favoritest, favoritest game. Yay. What a good day. Mikus and my nighttime activity was Persepolis, one of my new favorite discoveries.
From IMDB:

In 1970s Iran, Marjane 'Marji' Statrapi watches events through her young eyes and her idealistic family of a long dream being fulfilled of the hated Shah's defeat in the Iranian Revolution of 1979. However as Marji grows up, she witnesses first hand how the new Iran, now ruled by Islamic fundamentalists, has become a repressive tyranny on its own. With Marji dangerously refusing to remain silent at this injustice, her parents send her abroad to Vienna to study for a better life. However, this change proves an equally difficult trial with the young woman finding herself in a different culture loaded with abrasive characters and profound disappointments that deeply trouble her. Even when she returns home, Marji finds that both she and homeland have changed too much and the young woman and her loving family must decide where she truly belongs.

The movie is great. Mikus and I both liked it so much. Now you go watch it, too.

Friday, July 4. Jesse, Mikus, Philip, Emily, Tiffany and I loaded into the Godell van for a day of food and wine along Seneca and Cayuga Lakes. I'll report our stops in list form:

• Red Newt Cellars, one of my favorites.
  
• Hazlitt Vineyards 1852, another favorite of mine.
  
• Rasta Ranch Vineyards. I didn't like this place at all and I don't think I was alone. The wine was mediocre at best and there were so many dead bugs around. WTF?
  
• Penguin Bay Winery and Champagne House
  
• Wagner Vineyards, Brewery and Ginny Lee Restaurant for lunch. The boys and I tasted the brews while Emily and Tiffany wandered about the gift shop.
  
• Montezuma Winery
  
• Cobblestone Farm Winery

• Lake Shore Winery
• Thirsty Owl Wine Company

At this point, I think we were all getting pretty tired and restless. We were on our way into Ithaca and we stopped at the overlook at Taughannock Falls State Park.
Dinner was at Viva! Cantina. The food was delicious as always and we kept the booze coming. I was happy to bump into my dear friend, David. It was a long day for everyone, Mikus especially, who did all the driving. He was totally amazing and generous with his time and really patient with his van-full of winos. Mikus and I took another long late-night walk. We were cooped up all day and I know I was happy to get the exercise. The night was really cool and clear; a great night to watch the stars.

Saturday, July 5. The day started with some prep for our dinner picnic: vegan pesto pasta salad, cucumber salad, sandwiches, watermelon, chips and salsa, wine and beer. After packing the Subaru for the day's adventure, we began our trip to the Ithaca Farmer's Market at Steamboat Landing. I haven't been to the Market in years, unfortunately, but I have always had fond memories. I'm really at a point in my life where I am trying to make an effort to buy organic and local products and I love being surrounded by a community with the same ideas. We got there around noon so the early morning congestion had dissipated. We all had terrific food and got some produce to add to our picnic. We didn't stay for too long but it was really fun and relaxing. I know Jess and I will head back soon. We planned to spend the rest of the day at Taughannock Falls State Park. Jess and Mikus hiked the Rim Trail and I laid in the sun to finish my Douglas Coupland book. They were gone for a couple of hours. When they returned, it was nearing the time for Li'l Anne and Hot Cayenne to take the stage for the first of 8 weekly concerts in the park. From their website:

Take half a dozen groovemasters, add a spicy blend of rock 'n'roll, blues and funk to the up-tempo Zydeco beat, and presto, you've got a dance groove that just won't quit.

They were really talented and fun. I loved being in the sun, listening to music and watching the crowd enjoy themselves.

Sunday, July 6. When I got up, Mikus was all packed up and ready to leave. To go home. To stop staying with us. It was totally abrupt. I was going to make pancakes for breakfast and was formulating what I thought may have been his last dinner with us. We had loose plans for Sunday (The Farm Sanctuary and perhaps Watkins Glen State Park) and Monday (Filmore Glen State Park) and I was surprised by his impromptu change of plans. It made me sad that he was leaving. I feel like we had really great, playful adventures and spent many hours talking and laughing together and I was disappointed that he was leaving so quickly. I'm trying not to be upset about it his impetuous departure. I really like that he goes where the breeze takes him so I can't also be hurt by the same thing that I like about him.

I think his Mikus' visit was really good for me and I'm so happy he came. Our time together made me nostalgic for the days in high school and afterwards when I was surrounded by similarly spontaneous and impulsive people. I am left feeling energized. I am hoping to squish a couple adventures of my own into my precious few remaining days of unencumbered bliss.

Boticelli-Inspired Enema Sculpture. Riiight.

A heath spa in Inozemtsevo, Russia recently unveiled a bronze monument of three cherubs carrying an enema. The sculpture, designed by local artist, Svetlana Avakova, was inspired by Sardo Boticelli's "Venus and Mars."

"We administer enemas nearly every day," said Alexander Kharchenko, the head of the sanatorium which specializes in treating illnesses of the digestion tract.

"So, I thought, why not use our sense of humor and give it a monument," he said of the bronze statue that stands about 1.5 meters high.

Avakova's comment about the sculpture made me laugh out loud:

"...an enema is an unpleasant procedure as many of us may know. But when cherubs do it, it's all right."

If you say so, Avakova.

via Mental Floss

Are You Considering Your Post-Mortem Carbon Footprint?

One of my favorite things has been all over the news recently: dead bodies. Popular Science and Green Living have both done stories suggesting that we contemplate a green disposition for the corpses of our dearly departed. Some options include being dissolved in lye and boiling water (uh.....), powering a microbial fuel cells with the gastric juices of the deceased (this is getting better as we go, huh?) or having your cremated remains turned into graphite for pencils to be used by your loved ones ("Honey, go get me your mom. I have to write a shopping list.").

CNN explores options that make sure you are productive even after you're gone. For instance, you could consider donating your body for display in a BodyWorlds exhibition. You'll be plastinated and kept around for the curious public and medical students alike.
No good? Ok. How about allowing one of a number of organizations to harvest your skin, bones, tissue and arteries for transplant or research? Don't worry. When they take your long bones, they'll put some PVC pipes into the newly vacated space (This is serious business; I've seen it with my own eyeballs). Nice, right?

I could go on but I think you get my point. If you're going to consider nontraditional disposition for your dead body, make sure its getting some shit done!

I'm Not Sure What's Going on Here

But I like it.