So, I'm feelin' kind of glum today. My day at work was extremely mediocre and you're probably thinking that I should take mediocrity when I can get it especially since this is my last week at this crummy job. And you're right, essentially. And you're probably also thinking that soon I'll be on to my next adventure; you're right about that, too. But the thing is, yes, I'm leaving this job, but the next job (back to bagel town) is only marginally better. Sure it is very unlikely that someone will pee in my shoe or wipe feces on me or my clothing, but it's just another low skill, low wage job in which I'm cleaning up after other people.Shit.
So, now you're thinking, "Well, Lisa, you're also going back to school!" Again, you're right... Opposite Midge (aka Rachel@Canada. Her new blog is ThickPaper.blogspot.com) recently lauded me for my gumption and effort. But you know what? Who cares? So, I'm finishing some Gen. Ed. shit at the local community college. But with what goal in mind? Who the hell knows!
My problem is this: I'm a little interested in a lot of things and not a lot interested in one thing. What am I going to do? I'm 28.5 years old. That's pretty old to be slummin' it at the local community college with no real goal to work towards.
Yeah, I've been tossing around the idea of horticulture or human services (two wildly unrelated fields), but are either of those things going to make me happy? And what am I going to do ultimately? Work in a green house? A degree from Cornell is a pretty damn expensive way to do that. Use a degree in human services to do something slightly less mediocre than what I'm doing now? Damn it!
Why can't I figure things out?
I mean, I'd love to work on some little paper venture (invitations, stationary, what have you) with Opposite Midge (it'd be a dream, really), but is anyone making any real money selling their wares on etsy?
Probably culinary school would be the best idea for me. Being in the kitchen is one of the few things I really love to do. But the only way to make money with a culinary degree is to be a chef and I don't like being hot and I'm awful at telling people what to do, so being a chef is out. Plus, what if I go to culinary school and then being in the kitchen becomes more of a chore than a past-time and I've trashed one of the things I really enjoy?
Don't tell me that it'll be alright. There's no evidence to support your claim.
I just wish I could have some answers; I wish I was one of the fortunate ones who knew at age seven that they wanted to be a bull-fighter or a magician or a fire truck like my dear old dad.
::huff::
I don't even want to go to school anymore. Just forget about the whole damn thing. I should just perfect my art of ass wiping and quit fussing.
Its all just ass wiping to some degree or another anyways, right?
image via Gladys Santiago
