An Open Letter

An open letter to all parties who will see me on my trip to IL, WI, and MI.

Dear everyone:

This time next week, I'll be on my way to Chicago to see Tovah and Andrew (wheeeeeeeeee!) before getting to WI and MI to see J's family. I'm leaving my little bun, Olive, in the capable hands of my mum and dad. That said, I'm totally going to be SNR about this. I'm told that she'll be fine; the House Rabbit Society says leaving little Olive with my fam is the best option for her health and safety and happiness. But I'm still going to be fraught with concern.

What if she doesn't remember that she likes her nose scratched? What if she's mad at me? What if she gets sick while we're gone? What if my dad is the Bunny Whisperer and she wants to stay there? I'm a momma who's never left her babe before, and you're probably going to hear about it.

Please be nice to me. I'm just worried.

Re: Check This Out!

Sorry the video is SNR. I can't get it to do what I want it to do.

You Have Something I Want

You have something I want. I'd like you to give it to me. Nay, I'd like you to gift it to me. Can I please have that thing you have that I want? Will you give me a gift? I really want it. Please, please, please? Will you please give me a gift? It's very special and I want it very much. Please? Please? Pleeeeeeease??? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleeeeeeeeeeeease? Please give me a gift. Please? I really like you; that thing that you have is great and I want it. Please give me a gift. Please? Please? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

-American Red Cross

I recently missed an appointment to donate blood. It was actually an accident. I received my reminder postcard but my life is pretty SNR right now so the appointment slipped my mind.

I don't mind giving blood. I actually kind of like it so when I feel like giving blood, I'm willing to do it. My blood is O- so the Red Cross really likes me and is disappointed when I don't make my appointments. They're so disappointed that they've called me ten times in seven days. Ten times in seven days. Guess what this makes me want to do. Never give blood ever, ever again. Giving blood is something nice for me to do; I'm donating my time and my blood. Its my blood and I'll do it when I want to do it and when I have time and when I'm not being harassed. So, basically, Red Cross, it may be awhile if you keep up this ridiculous behavior. Now lay off. Sheesh!

Overheard in the J and L House

Lisa to Jesse: I think I'm annoyed at you about something but I don't remember why.

Jesse to Lisa: Yeah?

Lisa: Yeah. Did I tell you why I'm annoyed?

Jesse: No.

Lisa: Weird. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm annoyed at you about something.

I Don't Know about These Mittens

At least they're unisex, only $25 and fire-resistant.....


via SpoonSisters

75 Days 'til Christmas

J and I are cutting back on our Christmas budget this year ::muffled sob::. Probably most people are doing the same thing. Because of the tight budget, we have to be much more discriminating about our purchases. I've started "window shopping" via the inkernet. Today, I came across the following disturbing item available for purchase at A + R:

Baby Hand Soaps in a variety of skin tones

Despite their creepiness, I kind of love them and want to gift them to equally snr people on my list. Hilarious!


images via A + R

McCain Can't Count or Tell the Truth

On Wednesday, McCain told Politico that he was uncertain how many houses he and Cindy own.

"I think — I'll have my staff get to you.... It's condominiums where — I'll have them get to you."

From Politico:

The correct answer is at least four, located in Arizona, California and Virginia, according to his staff. Newsweek estimated this summer that the couple owns at least seven properties.

In recent weeks, Democrats have stepped up their effort to caricature McCain as living an outlandishly rich lifestyle — a bit of payback to the GOP for portraying Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) as an elitist...

Additionally, McCain can't tell the truth about anything.


McCain is a big, fat liar via Slog

Good Job

via Treehugger

What He Said

From The Stranger's David Schmader:

Sometimes Olympic triumph looks like an ugly halter top.

That, David Schmader, is a very good point.

via Slog

I Will Tell You 9 Things. I Will Not Disclose the 10th Thing.

• I'm happy because the rain is here, albeit 12 or so hours late.
• I want popcorn with nutritional yeast. I want it now. I'm sure getting it done will wake Jesse. Ack!!
  
• I'm kind of avoiding my therapist.
• A week from today, Jesse will be in CT for an interview. I'll be chauffeuring.
• Perhaps if I pop my popcorn on the landing, it won't wake Jesse.
• I am thoroughly and excessively caffeinated. Damn you, Starbucks and your bribes.
  
• I had an awful day on Monday. For some reason, I felt better after I fell of my bike.
  
• Is there an outlet in the common hallway? Maybe I can pop corn there.
• Tuesday was much better than Monday. I'm sure its mostly due to caffeine and partly due to the fact that I forced myself to emerge from my cave.
  

Ride Your Bike to Work...

Get shot in the face.

From Columbia Dispatch:

TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) — Toledo police say a man was shot and killed while bicycling to work for the first time to save on gas.

Police Capt. Ray Carroll says 46-year-old David Babcock was seen on a street having a heated argument with another man before he was shot around 5:30 Tuesday morning. He was pronounced dead at a hospital.

The coroner says Babcock took a bullet to the face that caused massive bleeding and hampered his breathing.

No arrests have been made. Authorities don't know the motive for the shooting.

Babcock survived surgery to remove a brain tumor 13 years ago. His fiance, Rene Long, says Babcock had put lights on his bike and wore a reflective vest so he would be safe on his inaugural, 8-mile ride to his job at Fresh Products Inc., a maker of air fresheners.

via Slog

There Is No Respite without My Fermented Chinese Tea

I've been drinking my kombucha daily since mid-May (thanks, Toves!) and have had almost no problems with heartburn. Its been great. Kombucha is pretty expensive and I have a hard time justifying the purchase (even though I've been buying it by the case and getting a discount) but its so good for my bod! Its chock full of active enzymes, amino acids, viable probiotics, antioxidants and polyphenols.

Sadly, I forgot my tea on Sun. and was out of tea today. Plus, our dinner was an awful, disgusting pizza that Jesse picked out and now, I Feel Like SHIT. Ack!! I am a wild inferno and it sucks. I've been popping Tums with no relief and am counting the hours until I can get to the local whole foods store.

On another note, I'm considering peeing on my plants.


image via links & thoughts

What Time Does the Sun Rise in July?

Its 3:44 a.m. and I'm still awake. I can only play so much websudoku and listen to so many This American Life shows before the sun comes up and Jesse stirs and wonders how long ago the fresh whole wheat chocolate chip cookies came out of the oven because they're still warm and I've finally fallen asleep on the kitchen floor with a single sheet and a small pile of kitchen towels.

I Really Should Have Learned This about 23 Years Ago

I don't know how to ride a bike. I know. I'm in the probably minuscule group of nearly 30-somethings who never learned to ride a bike. Lately I have had a bee in my bonnet about learning and there's a bunch of reasons to try:

1. its about time, already
2. its green
3. it is something Jesse and I can do together
   
4. it will be great when we move to a big city
   
5. it can be my new project
6. eHow seems to think I can do it
7. its good exercise and exercise is good
8. I want to be able to teach my offspring
9. I'll be really proud if I can do it

But its embarrassing and I'm self-conscious and if I get discouraged I might give up. I don't want to go to the bike shop and tell them how snr I am and then have to take Bike101. Plus, maybe I can't do it. Do you think I can do it?


image via Real World: Freshman Year

Its Lovely! I'll Take It!

I just found a hilarious blog that is making me laugh out loud. Its Lovely! I'll Take It! is a collection of awful, ill-conceived real estate listing photos. Call me crazy, but I think photos including urine, trash can lids, ominous staircases, clutter, bathrooms with no walls, clutter, random empty corners, corners with stuff in them, this weird thing, clutter, another weird thing, unders, and this crazy cat might make the sale of your house somewhat more difficult.

Actually, I kind of like the cat and his frightening glower.

Hard Candy

Tonight, Jesse and I watched Hard Candy, a 2005 independent film starring Patrick Wilson and Ellen Page. Its a very disconcerting, awkward story of a sophisticated and charming 14-year-old girl, Hayley (Page), and a sexy, savvy 32-year-old photographer and sexual predator, Jeff (Wilson), who meets her on the inkernet. When they meet at a local coffee shop, they flirt and he buys her a tee shirt before they head back to his place for some music and screwdrivers. Yikes!

I loved Ellen Page in Juno and her charisma is pretty palpable in this film, as well. The story is pretty crazy, absolutely fantastic, but its interesting to see Page in such a diverse roll. Additionally, it includes someone who dies in an unusual or untimely way, one of my idiosyncratic predilections.

Brews News

My idiot husband puked in my car.

McCain, The Incoherent Mysogynist

From ThinkProgress:

Earlier this week, one of Sen. John McCain’s (R-AZ) top advisers, Carly Fiorina, argued for McCain’s free-market approach to health care by noting that “there are many health insurance plans that will cover Viagra but won’t cover birth-control medication” and that many “women would like a choice.” But, as ThinkProgress noted, Fiorina’s argument was undermined by McCain’s 2003 vote against legislation that would have required insurance coverage of prescription birth control. When asked about the disconnect on his campaign bus today, McCain nervously replied, “I certainly do not want to discuss that issue“:

Q: Earlier this week Carly Fiorina was meeting with a bunch of reporters and talked about it being unfair that insurance companies cover Viagra but not birth control. And -

McCain: I certainly do not want to discuss that issue. (uneasy laughter)

Q: But apparently you’ve voted against (McCain laughter continues)

McCain: I don’t know what I voted -

Q: Voted against coverage of birth control, forcing health insurance companies to cover birth control in the past. Is that still your position?

McCain: I’ll look at my voting record on it, but I have, uh, (5 second pause) , I don’t recall the vote right now. But I’ll be glad to look at it and get back to you as to why, I don’t -

Q: I guess her statement was that it was unfair that health insurance companies cover Viagra but not birth control. Do you have an opinion on that?

McCain: (after 8 second pause) I don’t know enough about it to give you an informed answer because I don’t recall the vote, I’ve cast thousands of votes in the Senate. I will respond to - it’s a, it’s a (nervous)

McCain’s stumbling answer is reminiscent of when he was asked in March 2007 about public funding for contraceptives and he could only reply, “whether I support government funding for them or not, I don’t know.”

Wow. McCain's floundering for a response to minimal pressure on this issue is so unbelievably inauspicious that its frightening. Yikes!

via Feministing

Dear Family and Children's Society

Dear Family and Children's Society,

I know you're a non-profit organization. I know you're in Broome County and there's no mons at all. I know the mons you have are stretched way too far. I know, I know, I know. All these components contribute to the fact that you have to pay your employees such poor wages. Let's not even get into the discussion about living wages.

I took all of the above-mentioned components into account when I accepted the Personal Care Aide position. I was interested in the job because of my interest in elderly people. I enjoyed a somewhat similar position a few years ago and I said, "its not much money, but I'll be helping someone out. Maybe I'll like it."

During the interview, we talked extensively about many aspects of the job. We talked about the in depth 80 hour training. We covered scheduling and benefits and weekends. You told me where I should park for training if I was offered the job. I asked many logistical questions. One detail, however, was conspicuously neglected: The two week, 80 hour training is unpaid.

WHAT?? I have to volunteer 80 hours of my life to be certified to make barely over minimum wage to buy cigarettes for and do the dirty dishes of a wide array of elderly people throughout the entire county? Do you understand how absurd this is? When I called for clarification, I was told, "We try to defray the cost of transportation and time by giving the people who complete the certification a $100 stipend." A $100 stipend for 80 hours of work is $1.25 an hour. And I have to drive 9.4 miles each way. I am SO not doing that.

Boticelli-Inspired Enema Sculpture. Riiight.

A heath spa in Inozemtsevo, Russia recently unveiled a bronze monument of three cherubs carrying an enema. The sculpture, designed by local artist, Svetlana Avakova, was inspired by Sardo Boticelli's "Venus and Mars."

"We administer enemas nearly every day," said Alexander Kharchenko, the head of the sanatorium which specializes in treating illnesses of the digestion tract.

"So, I thought, why not use our sense of humor and give it a monument," he said of the bronze statue that stands about 1.5 meters high.

Avakova's comment about the sculpture made me laugh out loud:

"...an enema is an unpleasant procedure as many of us may know. But when cherubs do it, it's all right."

If you say so, Avakova.

via Mental Floss