Subie

My Subaru is broken. The problems include head gaskets, rear calipers, exhaust, alignment, cracked motor mount. Its going to cost thousands of dollars and I am scared. We've recently moved into a new apartment which is less money and more room. We're supposed to be getting ahead financially in preparation for our future (our own house, pets, offspring!) but this will be a huge blow.

I try to believe my friend Katie's wisdom: "everything that happens is perfect" and often it is a comfort. But how could a $4,000 car repair be perfect? This is really frightening.

I suppose this is as good a segue as any other: I am planning to quit my awful job and go back to school in the fall. I'll take some classes at the local community college at first then, if we're still in the area, try to get into Cornell's Department of Horticulture and finally finish my Bachelor's degree. This giant, forthcoming auto repair bill makes me very nervous to take such a huge risk.

The Spot

My brother, Eric, left this morning on a 22-day Wilderness Exploration Leadership class in Olympic National Park and on the Olympic Peninsula. This trip will be much different than last year's trip to Anchorage, Alaska: no hostels, no trips to town, no lunches at weird restaurants in buses. This is 22 days of wilderness. He is thrilled.

Find out where he is with the Spot tracking device the group is carrying. Since the Spot uses Google maps, you can also switch to terrain, satellite, or hybrid views. 8 minutes ago, he was west of the Sarasota Passageway.

HB to the Boy/Overheard in the J and L House

Yesterday was my brother's birthday. He is 25 which is crazy. He has requested a very special birthday dessert from our childhood and I am happy to oblige. I'm not going to say what it is right now; I'll have some pictures in a couple of days.

Anyways, Jesse has occasionally offered thoughts or advice on the creation of this very special birthday dessert from our childhood and I have vehemently refused and stomped my foot, insisting that this dessert be exactly as it was when we were small.

J put me to bed for a nap this afternoon and went to do some dessert prep while I tried to sleep. Upon his return a couple hours later, he told me about some of his progress saying, "if its not exactly how you want it, you can fix it." Nice, right?

My response: "No, it doesn't have to be perfect!"

Lisa:Crazy

Jesse: Nice and accommodating

One of My Special Skills

I have the ability to guess the total of our grocery shopping bill with great accuracy. Sometimes I am within a couple of dollars; often I am within cents. For instance, today, with nearly no thought at all, I guessed that our bill would be $134.00. It was $130 and change.

This skill apparently runs in the Mastroberti genes as my dad the ability to do this with restaurant checks. DNA does funny things.

Amazing

So, Justin Timberlake is so funny. Last night he was on SNL; SNL hasn't been so funny since Sarah Palin. He was great. The monologue, the plastic surgery guy and "Motherlover" with hilarious Adam Samberg. Enjoy.

More, please.


via NBC

Say, "Hi," to Krista

Krista is my friend from the Shittaco area. We were first blog-buddies via Tovah and Andrew, then our friendship blossomed to Facebook. When I visited Tovah for my birthday, we met for reals and it was very fun. Krista is very sweet, really funny, has a great idea for the end of Lost and particularly enjoys my "Overheard" posts. I'm happy we finally got to meet, even though our visit was brief.

Anyway, I've been concerned that her terrific blog, johnsonville, was succumbing to some serious blog-fade since she's gone two whole months without a post. Thankfully, she's back at it with a post marking both her return to the inkerwebs and Cinco de Mayo. Keep it up, Krista and I'll try to do the same.


Also, check out her response to Westboro and her experience with a good Samaritan cop.

Today in Gross Things I Found at the Gas Station When I Was Craving Junk Food

GIANT CHEETOS

Please pay no attention to how hids (that's Dawn Miceli for hideous) I look in this picture. I've been up all night and am heading to bed. But first I had to show you this gross shit that Frito Lays calls food. Michael Pollan is appalled, I guarantee you.

p.s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know my other junk food selections were only marginally better than this orange monstrosity. You don't have to tell me....

Overheard in the J and L House

Lisa assesses Jesse's wet, dirty appearance as they return the tire-changing tools to the trunk.

Lisa to Jesse: This is a big week for you!

Jesse: Yeah?

Lisa: Yeah! You got your first big boy tape measure (30 feet!) and you changed your first flat tire, and in the rain, no less! A big week!

You Have Something I Want

You have something I want. I'd like you to give it to me. Nay, I'd like you to gift it to me. Can I please have that thing you have that I want? Will you give me a gift? I really want it. Please, please, please? Will you please give me a gift? It's very special and I want it very much. Please? Please? Pleeeeeeease??? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleeeeeeeeeeeease? Please give me a gift. Please? I really like you; that thing that you have is great and I want it. Please give me a gift. Please? Please? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

-American Red Cross

I recently missed an appointment to donate blood. It was actually an accident. I received my reminder postcard but my life is pretty SNR right now so the appointment slipped my mind.

I don't mind giving blood. I actually kind of like it so when I feel like giving blood, I'm willing to do it. My blood is O- so the Red Cross really likes me and is disappointed when I don't make my appointments. They're so disappointed that they've called me ten times in seven days. Ten times in seven days. Guess what this makes me want to do. Never give blood ever, ever again. Giving blood is something nice for me to do; I'm donating my time and my blood. Its my blood and I'll do it when I want to do it and when I have time and when I'm not being harassed. So, basically, Red Cross, it may be awhile if you keep up this ridiculous behavior. Now lay off. Sheesh!

You Guys, I am So Tired

You must think I am so lame; that this poor, neglected blog is days away from complete blog fade. Its not, really. I'm just so, so tired. This blog is not the only thing that isn't getting the attention it needs. J is feeling bored and somewhat neglected. My friends (Erika, are you out there?) must think I've been kidnapped or something. I am weeks behind on Slog. Plus, we're trying to find a new apartment which requires the little bit of energy I can scrape together.

This job is kind of kicking my ass. It would perhaps be worth it if I was really digging the job but, well.... There are parts that I enjoy. I'd best leave it at that.

I hope that things will even out a bit as I adjust more. I really hope they even out. For now, please forgive me and accept the few meager posts as they come.




P.S. My trip to see Tovah was terrific; so much fun. It was almost just like old times but in Chicago and on the El this time. We ate so much delicious food (Karyn's Cooked, Chicago Diner, Molly's Cupcakes, Piece, Piccolo Sogno to name a few) and shopped in neat shops and boutiques and snuggled on the couch. This post absolutely does not justify how special my trip was but I feel I've neglected it too long. Tovah and Andrew, please forgive your sleepy friend. Find some pictures from the trip here and at Andrew's blog.

Good News for the Ladies

From Mother Jones blog, Blue Marble:

What? "Spread em and grin" might be hitting the bricks? Yep, according to the Times:

A new DNA test for the virus that causes cervical cancer does so much better than current methods that some gynecologists hope it will eventually replace the Pap smear in wealthy countries and cruder tests in poor ones.

Not only could the new test for human papillomavirus, or HPV, save lives; scientists say that women over 30 could drop annual Pap smears and instead have the DNA test just once every 3, 5 or even 10 years, depending on which expert is asked.

Their optimism is based on an eight-year study of 130,000 women in India financed by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and published last week in The New England Journal of Medicine. It is the first to show that a single screening with the DNA test beats all other methods at preventing advanced cancer and death.

'The study is another nail in the coffin for Pap smears, which will soon be of mainly historical interest,' said Dr. Paul D. Blumenthal, a professor of gynecology at Stanford medical school who has tested screening techniques in Africa and Asia and was not involved in the study.

But whether the new test is adopted will depend on many factors, including hesitation by gynecologists to abandon Pap smears, which have been remarkably effective. Cervical cancer was a leading cause of death for American women in the 1950s; it now kills fewer than 4,000 a year.

Downside: The insurance industry will no doubt use those DNA results, if this pans out, to take our premiums for years—then deny us a payout based on our genetic profiles. But still...no more Pap smears? Yippee!

There's the Right Way to Deal with This Situation aaaand There's the WRONG Way....

MSNBC:

ALLENDALE, S.C. - James Hines was a giant — a 6-foot-7, 300-pound preacher and funk musician so big that after he died in 2004, a macabre rumor began circulating in this small town that the undertaker had to cut off his legs to fit him in the coffin.

This week, after years of whispers, Hines' body was exhumed, and the gruesome story appeared to be all too true.

The coroner's office said only that it had found "undesirable evidence," and a criminal investigation has been opened. But Hines' widow said investigators told her that his legs had been cut off between the ankle and calf, and his feet had been placed inside the casket.

Ten-Hour Awake Overnight Shifts Make Lisa a Bad Blogger

I'm completely aware of what a bad job I've been doing lately with this here blog. I haven't told you about my great trip to Chicago to see Tovah and Andrew and meet Krista. I haven't told you much about how this new job and crazy new overnight shift are going. I've not even mentioned what a fun birthday Jesse had.

The crazy overnight shift is what's keeping me from keeping up with you. Boo. I'll try to get back to it some this weekend. In the meantime, enjoy this picture of me eating a donut while I'm in the shower.

Overheard in the Tandrew House

Lisa to Tovah: Tovah, come here and smell my arm pit.

Tovah: No. That's ok.

Lisa: But it doesn't smell like anything.

Tovah: (silence) Still, no.

Take it from Me

Several hours after eating a large portion of raw beet salad (or any other sort of beet), it is important to remember that you consumed this large portion of beets before becoming alarmed by anything that observe during your subsequent bathroom times.

Mirriam-Webster, I Think You're OK!

marriage: noun

(1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage b: the mutual relation of married persons : wedlock c: the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage

redefinition news via Slog

R.I.P., Seattle Post-Intelligencer

From today's edition, the last-ever Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

image via Slog

Today in Traditional Marriage

The Smoking Gun:

A Florida man wearing an "I [heart] My Marriage" t-shirt was arrested last night for allegedly choking his wife during an argument in their Tampa-area home. Bradley Gellert, a 32-year-old financial consultant, was busted by Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office deputies and booked into jail on a felony domestic battery by strangulation charge.... The "I [heart] My Marriage" shirt was a promotional item tied to the 2008 movie "Fireproof," a Christian-themed film starring Kirk Cameron. The movie, a hit in evangelical circles, centers on a fireman's religious awakening and his simultaneous effort to save a failing marriage.

Says Dan Savage, "Bradley hearts his marriage - it's his wife he can't stand."

via Slog
image via The Smoking Gun

More Proof Depression Hurts Women's Hearts

From MSNBC:

WASHINGTON - Severe depression may silently break a seemingly healthy woman's heart.

Doctors have long known that depression is common after a heart attack or stroke, and worsens those people's outcomes. Monday, Columbia University researchers reported new evidence that depression can lead to heart disease in the first place.

The scary news gets worse:

The depressed women were more than twice as likely to experience sudden cardiac death — death typically caused by an irregular heartbeat, concluded the 12-year study, published Monday in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology. They also had a smaller increased risk of death from other forms of heart disease.

The big surprise: Sudden cardiac death seemed more closely linked with antidepressant use than with the depression symptoms the women reported.

This is disconcerting to say the least.

David Shrigley

Recently, I've been interested in the cartoons and photographs by Glasglow-based artist, David Shrigley. I particularly like this photograph because this coconut says what I spend so much time trying to do.

I really love many of his bizarre, caustic cartoons and animations, as well. The following cartoon is about a sculpture.

I love too many drawings to share them all. Check him out and tell me which ones you like. We can talk about them!