So, I've volunteered twice at Identity, the LGBTQ youth drop-in center which is affiliated with the Southern Tier Aids Program (STAP). Identity is where I'll do my 120-hour internship during my Spring 2011 semester.
If you've been paying any attention to me at all, you know LGBTQ rights and equality and activism and related topics are pretty G-damn important to me. I do a lot of research and writing on LGBTQ youth, I really have a heart for this population. I'm also really into LGBTQ kids not killing themselves after they've been marginalized and overexposed to homophobic, heteronormative, hateful, and oppressive surroundings. By extension, I'm really into the It Gets Better Project. Further, I'm pro the obliteration of DOMA and DADT (speaking of which, WTF, Barack? What are you doing? I am totally your friend, but I just don't understand). So, considering all that, I'm volunteering at Identity!
Brief deviation: I think I may ultimately be more cut out for LGBTQ advocacy, but since I don't know anything for sure, this is a totally reasonable and fitting segue, right? Right.
Back to Identity: like I said, I've only been twice. I don't have a great feel for what I'm supposed to do now or what I might be doing during my internship. I just keep getting told that I'm going to "work with the youth." Really? Ok.... Besides general uneasiness about newness, the main thing I've been concerned with is this: do I mention/refer to my husband. After my second afternoon at Identity, I'd decided that maybe I should refer to J as my partner and let folks assume what they may. In a world where these kids are often "the other," at Identity, they're not; I am (or maybe I'm not; I kind of feel like I am). So, allies are great! I think these kids think allies are great, right? I just don't know what to say. I don't want to seem too "straight" and estrange myself and then maybe they don't trust me? Or they don't accept me like they would if I fit better into their initialism? ::furrow:: So, J is my partner...?
Skip ahead eighteen hours. I was watching my favorite YouTube webcast everyone is gay, and I was making J watch a couple episodes, too. (I have to watch so much boring or annoying shit that he likes; I made him watch a couple episodes of something I like.) Anyway, it just so happens that one of the questions to my favorite lesbian advice-givers (from their bio: "Kristin and Dannielle are girls who like girls, and who give advice to those who are confused about sexuality, gender identity, dating, falling in love, or even dressing up like Super Woman") had an answer just for me. I'm not going to tell you about the question and answer; you have to watch it yourself and you should. "My" question is the second one and starts after the brief lip-sync to Rocky Horror Picture Show. Don't let me down. Watch this; it's not long at all. Maybe you'll understand more of what my goal is and you'll learn something about what is exceptionally critical to me (and about a gajillion other peeps).
UPDATE: Speed up to 3:58 or so to see "my" question and answer if you can't take the 7 or 8 minutes to see the whole thing.
We're all a community. Well, we are in my head and in the heads of Kristin and Dannielle. So, J is my husband? Discuss.
image via everyone is gay
2 comments:
I think that it is important to be you during this process. I know that if I was looking to talk to someone and feel heard and understood, I'd want the person I was getting advice from to be authentic. I also think that you are an amazing example of someone who is in a heterosexual relationship that completely supports all lifestyles and in fact advocates for that. I think we are trying to help remove the divide that has been placed between these groups of people (and by this I mean anyone who identifies themselves as something) and you can show this wonderfully! There is no need to feel divided in a community of loving people.
What my sister said.
The truth is, especially when dealing with youth--some will be upset that you are not gay as you could "never understand", in the same way I am when I meet with a nutritionist and I can tell she has been life-long skinny. But, when someone speaks a message that er, speaks to you barriers drop.
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